by Goatbrook and Ya Mudda
Alright, before we talk about how dirty the Cavs did the future GOAT, Maple Jordan, we need to address something. Ya Mudda did the fusion dance like Goku and Vegeta dance to bring you the GOAT primer. They may gotta shutdown the internet, or somethin’ like that, I don’t know what the cool kids do nowadays.
All the teams in the East are taking their steroids and HGH and putting down the soy milk this season – it’s gonna be wild when the Cavs lose the #1 seed to Toronto, in March (#GetWellSoonDeMare). The Wolves won 16 game last year, but are at a 12-24 record right now, which is an improvement, and we gon’ ride this out for a bit longer till Wiggins comes to Toronto, and KARL will flourish in Minny.
The Cavs tried to create a Frankenstein team, word to Froggy Fresh aka the Rakim of Youtube, to tickle LeBron’s fancy all at the expense of tossin’ a young Canadian, Andrew Wiggins, and his future around. Yes, Wiggins was shipped from the wack city of Cleveland to the Minnesota tundra (shoutout to Teddy GOATwater and Carrots). We writing this during halftime so don’t come at me with your facts, but Wiggins is putting some cool numbers up, including droppin’ 20ppg on a making-Kobe-proud 43%, but the Wolves are 12-24, which is an improvement from last year, especially if you flip their record around.
We also need to talk about how Enes Kanter has more all-star votes than Wiggins, like, Toronto, what are y’all saying, fam? You don’t wanna see the young Clyde fade on Jimmy Butler and Kyle Lowry with 3 seconds left to go in the third quarter? You don’t wanna see the young Fyodor Dostoveyudvyvsky drop 90 on LeBron? Smh.
KAT is a GOAT, too. If Pekovic takes his minutes away, Sam Mitchell gon’ get canned again (#TheRaptorsShouldNotHaveFiredSamMitchell).
Karl Anthony Towns #NBAvote
Andrew Wiggins #NBAVote
Match-ups to watch:
Wiggins vs. Lebron: Oh boy, what to say here. Wiggins was widely touted as being the next Lebron, hell he was even drafted by the Cavs before ultimately being trade for Kevin Love. Wiggins is way too small to defend Lebron plus he’s not even a very good defender, Lebron is probably going to eat him tonight, literally.
Verajao vs Karl: KARL has been a monster recently, basically he’s the only consistent Wolves player, his offense seems really polished for a 20 year old and his defense is coming along nicely, he’s prone to getting lost at times, but that is expected however he has shown he is excellent in shutting down dribble drive penetration in the pick and roll, this is going to be crucial against the Cavs with James and Irving handling for most of the game. His match up tonight is Anderson Verajao, who looks an awful lot like a 1970s tennis player, Verajao is a hard worker and operates mainly on the glass and in the pick and roll, Karl could have his hands full tonight if he isn’t prepared to play hard however I expect Karl to bring his chalk and board cleaner as he schools Verajao.
Lavine vs. Jr. Smith: This is a match made in heaven for me, nothing gives me more joy than watching hilarious basketball and these two are the definition of that. Jr’s irrational confidence in jacking up shots and Lavine’s propensity to something stupid at any given time should make for riveting television.