by Meerfat Meerhat Meerkat
After a heart-crushing loss in Orlando, the Minnesota Timberwolves play host to the Detroit Pistons tonight looking to right the ship (sorry, #TeamTank). They’ve dropped 5 of their last 6 games and this one will not be easy by any means. The Pistons have been playing surprisingly well this season with the eMeergence of meat-flapping fuck hole, Reggie Jackson, as a starter as well as the growing dominance of Sir Andre Drummond.
The Pistons aren’t particularly good at scoring or passing the ball (FY Reggie) averaging only 97.3 ppg and 16.7 assists. The kicker is that they are the 7th best defense in the league, allowing only 97.4 points per game. The task is simple for our heroes tonight…score 100 and WE WIN!
Minnesota is currently averaging almost 103 ppg (8th in the league), lead by Wiggins. He’s currently 11th in the NBA in scoring at 21.5 ppg, and has averaged a whopping 26 ppg in his last 7. Let’s hope he can continue this spree tonight and score some Canadian buckets! Overall, the offense looks to make bigger improvements tonight; At 20th in assists per game, it seems this team settles for way too many long 2’s and playing a lot of young hero ball. Hopefully Ricky Rubio being back from injury can help as he distracts the opposition with his boyish charm and entrancing eyes.
Also a big key to this game: bench play. Minnesota boasts the 2nd best bench in the league, scoring 44.5 ppg. The Pistons bring the worst at 19.1. Look to Bjelica, LaVine, Kmart, and crew to help exploit this mismatch.
Minnesota looks to continue their impressive record of swarming dominance at home.
Minnesota is 0-5 at home this season…ooof.
Key Points to watch for:
Drummond vs. KAAAAAAAAAAAAARL: Andre Drummond is averaging 19 rpg early on this season. In case you didn’t know, that’s ridiculous. It’ll be up to our king, KAT, to try and limit him tonight.
Side stat: Every time Drummond gets 13+ rebounds, Nikola eats a Meerkitten. Please think of the Meerkittens.
Reggie vs. Ricky: Currently these two are in the top 11 in PER Ratings for NBA point guards. This highly anticipated matchup has a lot of fans excited. Jackson vs. Rubio. Saruman vs. Gandalf. Rotten sewage vs. Prime rib. Susan Boyle vs. Adele.
These two teams combined have only won 3 of their 12 games. Something’s gotta give.
This is definitely the marquee game of the evening. Who will win: #TeamTank or #TeamTriumphant?
GO MEERNASOTA GO!